https://nsddd.top/tags/psychology/ Tech blog by Xinwei Xiong — AI Builder, open source contributor and digital nomad sharing Kubernetes, Go, AI projects and travel. https://nsddd.top/assets/og-image.png https://nsddd.top/ Hugo -- gohugo.io en-us Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:20:00 +0800 https://nsddd.top/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-3-anxious/ Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:20:00 +0800 Sun, 28 Jun 2026 23:05:15 +0800 熊鑫伟 (Xinwei Xiong) https://nsddd.top/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-3-anxious/ Anxious attachment is not about loving too much. It comes from repeatedly experiencing as a child that love would come but might not stay, that people would draw close and then suddenly disappear. So in adulthood the anxious person doesn't distrust love — they fear love disappearing. This piece lays out the origins, typical patterns, the anxious-avoidant trap, and the path of repair, all in one place. Growth Psychology Attachment Relationships Intimacy Inner Work Personal Growth Self-Discovery Love https://nsddd.top/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-2-avoidant/ Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:10:00 +0800 Sun, 28 Jun 2026 23:05:15 +0800 熊鑫伟 (Xinwei Xiong) https://nsddd.top/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-2-avoidant/ In the Chinese context, what people often call avoidant personality is more precisely avoidant attachment. Its core is not no need for love but a slowly learned lesson from childhood: expressing needs does not work, getting close is not safe, carrying it alone is steadiest. This piece lays out where it grows from, what its underlying beliefs look like, how it typically shows up, and step by step how it can be repaired — both with others and with yourself. Growth Psychology Attachment Relationships Intimacy Inner Work Personal Growth Self-Discovery Love https://nsddd.top/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-1-quality-and-time/ Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:00:00 +0800 Sun, 28 Jun 2026 23:05:15 +0800 熊鑫伟 (Xinwei Xiong) https://nsddd.top/growth/posts/2026-06-28-ignite-and-settle-1-quality-and-time/ Quality and time in companionship are not a choice between two things. They are two different systems doing two different jobs. Quality lights the fire. Time settles it to the bottom. This piece pulls apart the responsiveness system and the habituation system, then uses how the amygdala actually works to explain why safety is not no threat here but no surprise here. Finally we return to the most common and least recognized move of all: why we turn away just as we are about to come close. Growth Psychology Relationships Intimacy Attachment Inner Work Personal Growth Self-Discovery Love